I lied to you, my faithful Kastle fans. I stated in my last blog that I’d update you all on my fantasy football status for my 11 teams each week, and I’ve failed you. My blogging license should be revoked faster than Nick Hogan’s driver’s license.
Well, I probably shoulda saved this for tomorrow so that I can include results from tonight’s Redskins/Steelers Monday Night match up, but, what the hell…I’m a rebel.
Let me begin by saying this: I don’t suck a big one! I don’t suck — I don’t!! WOOT! My overall record coming into week 9 is 51-37. I’m waaay over .500, bitches!
I’ve managed my key injuries quite well (“Whatchu Talkin’ ‘Bout” Willis McGahee, LaDainian “Turf Toe” Tomlinson, Rashard “Ow, My Arm!” Mendenhall, Reggie “I Heart Kim Kardashian” Bush, and most recently (like, yesterday!) Kyle “Ouch, My Ankle!” Orton).
I’ve also managed my list o’ You-Were-Supposed-To-Kick-Ass-But,-DAYUM-You-Suck-Ass players well enough (Kellen “The Browns Gave Me A Staph Infection and Didn’t Give A Shit” Winslow, Ben “Over Rated” Roethlisberger, Chad “Don’t Let My 15 Points In Week 8 Fool Ya” Johnson Ocho Cinco, and Jeremy Shockey).
A few of my key pickups: Matt Schaub (but now his ass is out for a month with an MCL injury!), “Orange” Julius Jones, Jay “Interception” Cutler, and the aforementioned Mr. Ouch, My Ankle!.
I only have one team that’s in a private league. Private league = $$$$ prizes! In that league, my week 8 record was 3-5 (not so hot) but I think I’m gonna win week 9. Sorry, Jill! muahahah muuuahahahahaah muahahahahaahahahauuuuuahahahaha
OK, so that’s my week 8 update — I’m 51-37. Mmm, yea, that’s all I have to share.
Maybe next time I’ll update y’all on how many points these hos have for the season….until then…
